Rant Away

Have you ever felt a feeling that you knew was completely unfounded.  You knew what you were feeling wasn’t what the reality around you was showing, but you can’t do anything to keep the feelings you’re feeling from coming to the surface? (I’ve lost you…I just know it).

At the moment I’m feeling too many feelings.  When that happens everything gets jumbled and I tend to go to sleep at 8PM because it helps.  I tend to cancel plans and make myself busy doing things that keep me busy away from feelings.  (Still lost?  That’s okay… It’s not supposed to make sense, it’s just a feeling)

Feelings aren’t supposed to make sense all of the time…Are they?  I believe there are times when feelings tell us to look at our lives and reassess.

When change happens in our lives, we change.  With each triumph and tribulation we face, we change as individuals.  It can become so easy to feel lost within these changes. To wake up one day and not know who you are anymore.

I feel it is so important to look at oneself on a regular basis and see how we have changed with our ever changing lives.

I feel it is, in a sense…A way to get to know yourself all over again.  Meeting again for the first time in a way.  If we don’t reconnect with ourselves, over time we lose sight of who we are.  We have a tendency to get lost in other aspects of who we are (student, wife, mother, employee, friend) and we wake up one day not knowing who WE are to ourselves.

I was introduced to this “process” at a young age and became aware of the dramatic affects losing sight of life around you can have. How quickly that feeling can make a rational person irrational.  How quickly the panic of “is this my life” can kick in if you haven’t truly been present in the changes over the years.  It is so easy to wake up every day and not know how you got from point A to point B because you’ve followed that exact same path daily for as long as you can remember.

I have been sensitive to my body and my feelings most of my life.  I have always “gone with it” when I FEEL the way I do right now.  I have always allowed my body to feel the feelings I am feeling in order to learn from them.  (I lost you again…I just know it)

I love my life and thank God every single day for each blessing…Including this “feeling” Because without it, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

I guess this will be my rant for Tuesday.  It really isn’t much of a rant as it is a feeling…Right?

  1. Kortnie |

    I know exactly what you’re talking about….

  2. Madelyn |

    I have no idea what you are talking about. But when you have time, would you mind “reassessing me?”

  3. rachel marquette |

    oh sweet friend, are you a mind reader? Because I know exactly the feelings you are talking about and the going to bed at 8PM, and doing everything under the sun to not feel that feeling. I know if I don’t eventually deal with those feelings they are going to come out sideways like a train wreck. You are wise beyond your years and most people walk through life never knowing who they are inside. Love your beautiful light and soul!

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